Eclipse Revisited
by rainbowjellyfish
Summary: An exploration of a path not taken in Eclipse. What if Bella had handled a certain situation a bit differently? How might that have changed the story? Bella's POV. Original text quoted. 1st chapter is just a test! Input needed. CANON
1. Chapter 15: Wager Revisited

All characters and the original story/text belong to Stephanie Meyer and I am not her.

* * *

_**Dear readers,**_

_**This story is an exploration of a crossroads moment in Eclipse. A crossroads for both Bella and Jacob and all that followed. What if, at that moment, Bella been able to handle a certain situation differently. What if Jacob had shown the more sensitive side he seemed to have in New Moon? (It also assumes that she is NOT feeling more for Jacob than she apparently did in the original text. I'm also assuming that Jacob is capable of being a lot more sensitive than the way he was portrayed in Eclipse originally. In New Moon we saw that sensitive side...perhaps a different reaction from Bella at a crucial moment would be enough to bring that kinder Jacob back into play....)  
**_

_**Be aware that my goal is to stay as true to the original text as is possible. However, when you change one thing, sometimes that can have drastic effects. Sort of the pebble in the pond, ripple effect.  
**_

_**I see this as being a series of 'snapshots' from within the original story...changing some things but leaving everything else the same. That being the case, I don't see this as becoming a true chapter story--that's already been told. This will ONLY change moments that ocurred because Bella chose differently. Does that make any sense??? :-)**_

_**~~~Thanks to Ms. Abigail Tracey for helping me tighten this first chapter up a bit :-)~~~**_

_**  
**__**Starts on page 331 of Eclipse. All original text will be quoted if necessary. Much will stay the same...well...we shall see :-)

* * *

**_

* * *

**Chapter 15. Wager--revisited** (page 331 with references to chapter 24 page 534)

His lips forced mine open, and I could feel his hot breath in my mouth.

Acting on instinct, I let my hands drop to my side, and shut down. I opened my eyes and didn't fight, waves of bitter disappointment and shock coursing through me as I waited for him to stop.

It worked. The anger seemed to evaporate, and he pulled back to look at me. He frowned slightly and then pressed his lips softly to mine again, once, twice...a third time. I pretended I was a stone and waited.

Finally, he let go of my face and leaned away. The deep hurt I felt pulsed through me as tears gathered in my eyes and fell unchecked down my face. When he opened his eyes and actually _looked _at me, he took a step back. And then another. His gleeful expression fled, changing rapidly into one of horror.

"Bella! I'm...I'm...," he was at a loss for words. I felt the same. Numbness, hurt and terrible disappointment warred within me. He was my _best_ friend. I knew that he had a crush on me...but _this_? How could this have happened? How could he have _done _this? I just stared into his face, so much higher than my own, tears slowly streaking down my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispered hoarsely. I just stared. "God, Bella...," he leaned forward as if to touch my arm and I flinched away involuntarily. His expression went from fear to despair at that. I didn't care. Not now. How was I supposed to react when my best friend, who knew I was in love with someone else, would dare to harm our friendship the way he just had. Harm it? I couldn't imagine how it could ever survive this...not now...not ever.

I watched as the look of despair slowly faded into something else. I couldn't put my finger on it at the moment. I was too upset to analyze his apparent feelings. Later it hit me and I couldn't help but feel bittersweet about it. It was resignation. For better or for worse Jacob Black finally knew who had all of my loyalty and love.

Jacob stared at me for a long moment in silence before walking a few paces away. He turned, finally and spoke quietly, sadly.

"Let me take you home, okay? He...he'll be waiting." And he turned and started back to the house. After a few moments, I followed.

The drive home was spent in silence. Every once in a while I could see Jacob glance my way, an extremely worried look stamped on his sad face. I couldn't bring myself to make things easier for him, though. I had said no. At least I'd tried to. I had made it abundantly clear who I loved and how I felt for Jacob, as well. The tears continued to seep out and scroll down my face as the betrayal I felt kept shooting through me. I was suddenly angry, too. And not just at Jacob.

I _knew _how he felt. I had absolutely known from the beginning that he had a crush on me. I guess I had hoped that seeing me with Edward would make Jacob's feelings fade. Clearly I was wrong. The thought of _how _wrong I was...how wrong it was of me to continue to hang out with him, knowing how he felt...that made me more than a little angry at myself. I shook my head silently as I saw how utterly stupid and selfish I was being. Was it really Jacob's fault? Oh, I wasn't done being hurt and angry with him. No way! But a lot of that anger had to be pointed at me. I couldn't deny that.

Jacob glanced at me pitifully again. I met his eyes for second and then looked away. I could see that he was sorry, but for what? That he'd forced that kiss on me? That he'd endangered or, more likely, killed a friendship that had meant so much to both of us? Or was he simply a kid who was worried because he knew I was upset with him? That last thought was mean and I knew it but it didn't change how I felt.

It seemed to take forever but eventually we pulled up to Charlie's house. I had the door open almost before we stopped.

"Bella!" Jacob called out. I heard the remorse in his voice but, at the moment, I didn't really care. I was upset with him and I was almost equally upset with myself. I shut the door calmly and walked into the house. Charlie was sprawled out on the sofa watching the news. He looked up as I walked past into the kitchen.

"You're back early," he commented.

"Yeah," I responded quietly. I didn't elaborate and I thought for a second that he would ask me more, but thankfully the news switched to sports commentary and he was distracted. In the kitchen, I poured myself a glass of water and stood staring at it for several seconds. The silence was broken by the sound of Jacob's car pulling slowly away. I looked up and, shaking my head, reached for the phone. I dialed Edward's cell.

"Bella?" he answered on the first ring. He sounded more than relieved--he was delighted. I could hear the Volvo's engine in the background; he was already in the car--that was good. "You left the phone...I'm sorry, did Jacob drive you home?"

"Yes," I replied with a sigh. I was already dreading the conversation I knew I needed to have. But I didn't want things to get any worse than they already were.

"I'm on my way over," he said. He must have picked up something from the tone in my voice because his own changed. He sounded suddenly more serious. "What's wrong?"

"I just need you here, Edward." He was quiet for a second.

"I'm on my way," he repeated, and I hung up quietly and finished my water before heading back outside. Charlie didn't seem to notice that I'd left, he was so involved in what the commentator was saying. I sat down on the porch and looked up into the trees that were lit by the security light and the lights from the windows. It was breezy and the wind rippled through the leaves above me and through my hair. Sighing, I leaned back and thought about the decisions I'd made lately. I had to admit that they were not as pure and unsullied as I would have once believed them to be. I thought about how great a friend Jacob had been to me all those terrible months when I was slowly dying inside, missing my other half. I thought, too, about how obvious it was that Jacob had been caring for me in ways that went far beyond pals and buddies. I couldn't honestly say I'd been blind, though. Not really. I'd been selfish. And that was the hard and bitter truth. There was another truth that needed to be dealt with as well. Edward's car pulled smoothly up to the house and he was at my side in a second.

"What's going on, Bella?" He was standing over me looking down into my eyes and I could see that the few minutes it had taken him to get here had obviously been spent obsessively worrying. I shook my head and reached up my hand for his, urging him to sit next to me. Inside the house the only sounds were the TV and an occasional incoherent comment from my dad directed towards whatever was happening on screen.

Edward sat next to me, still hold my hand, but his eyes looked wary. I took a breath before starting.

"You knew, didn't you?" He frowned suddenly at that. "You knew that Jacob had...things on his mind when you dropped me off. You said he was practically shouting...but you wouldn't tell me what it was about." That wary look switched to cautious yet ever so slightly guilty.

"I...didn't think it was right to tell you, Bella. You got upset with the idea of me hearing his thoughts...I guess I felt he deserved his...," he paused.

"His chance?" Edward looked away and then back at me. His eyes burned into mine.

"Did he take that chance, Bella?" His voice deepened and I knew I had to watch what I said.

"Edward...," I paused. "I wish you'd just told me." He opened his mouth as if to interrupt me, but I raised my hand to stop him. "I know! I know I told you I didn't like you hearing his thoughts and I know you were trying to...I guess do the right thing. But I wish I'd known." My voice faded away as I thought of how I might have handled things differently. But, then again, maybe that was the best way. Jacob definitely now knew how things really stood. Edward stood up abruptly and turned to face me.

"What Happened?" It was more a demand than a question and I could see the anger flaring in his eyes and the line between them. I stood up slowly and placed my hand on his arm.

"Calm down, Edward. Nothing _happened_! Nothing terrible, anyway." He frowned but a little of the tension seemed to ease from his frame. I wished I didn't have to tell him what happened. But there was always a chance that he would see Jacob again...and then there was _every _chance that he would know the second he saw him. No--it was better this way. I just needed to be very careful.

"I feel so stupid, Edward. So stupid and selfish and...I don't know what." I shook my head and looked away from him.

"What are you talking about, Bella?" This was clearly not what he'd thought I was going to say. Good. Best to keep his thinking off track for the moment.

"I don't know what to say. I knew. I _knew _that he liked me. _I knew that_!" I paced away from Edward in frustration with myself but not before seeing a tiny flicker of relief on his face. "So why? Why did I ignore it? Why did I ...," I was shaking my head again, still pacing while Edward just watched me in silence, an oddly rueful look on his face. I stopped in front of him and just stood there looking up into his beautiful eyes. Taking a huge breath, I decided to get it over with.

"He kissed me." I stated this blankly, flatly. Edward's reaction was neither blank nor flat. His eyes seemed to catch fire and at the same moment he seemed to become a lot more statue-like than I'd ever seen before. I waited for several seconds while he just stood there, motionless. Finally I reached my hand up and held my palm to his cheek. After a second, he blinked and reached up to hold my hand to his face. The fire slowly drained away but did not completely leave. I had practically accused him of being jealous once before. Now I knew that no matter how amazing Edward was, he was still a man. A man with feelings...intense ones. So that just added another layer to my already growing guilt. Edward had had to watch me go hang out with a guy he _knew _had feelings for me...over and over again. The thought occurred to me...what if that had been me? What if Edward had insisted on hanging out by himself with a girl I knew had feelings for him? Something twisted deep in my gut at the very thought. But wasn't that exactly what I'd been doing. I knew that Edward was strong...but was it fair that I'd demanded that he be _that _strong? Strong enough to watch me hang out with Jacob, knowing he had feelings for me...and just..._take _it? God! What kind of person am I?

Something of my thoughts must have shown in my eyes because his suddenly grew more gentle and he pulled us both back down to sit on the porch.

"He kissed you?" He repeated. I nodded, the remorse I was feeling threatening to overwhelm me.

"That's not your fault, Bella," he said gently. I nodded, waves of remorse coursing through me miserably. Shaking my head again, I tried to look away.

"I'm such an idiot!" Edward pulled me into his arms and held me in silence for several seconds.

"You are not an idiot, love. Jacob has feelings and he obviously wanted to see if...if there was any chance you felt the same. You can't blame yourself for that." But that's exactly how I felt. _To blame_. Responsible. I looked into those wonderful eyes and felt a wave of shame.

"I don't like to talk about it, Edward, but you know how...messed up I was there for a while." I felt Edward grow still again. I hated reminding him of that terrible time and I would never normally do it...but I needed to talk this out and Edward probably needed that, too, even if it would be hard for both of us.

"We were so close and he did so much to help me keep it together. He was a true friend and I knew...I _knew _that he wanted more. Even before...," I was speaking so softly now that only Edward could have heard me. The night around us had become hushed with only the soft sigh of the weak breeze and an occasional sound from the TV inside to remind us of where we were. Edward broke the silence with his soft and understanding words.

"I know, love. He was there for you when you really needed someone. When I left you Bella, I left you bleeding. Jacob was there to help stitch you back up again and that was bound to leave its mark on you both. You relied on him. For all I wish you never had to...it's still the truth. And now Jacob feels very...protective of you and...he blames me and my family for your pain.... He has cause." I looked up sharply at that.

"No, Edward. He doesn't. I don't want blame being flung all over the place. That time...that was terrible. Yes. But that's the _past _and I'm sick and tired of people living in the past." My voice had raised and I suddenly was very aware that Charlie was just inside and could easily overhear our conversation if we weren't careful. But he was part of it, too. He blamed Edward. Jacob blamed Edward and all the Cullens. The pack blamed the Cullens for everything from my situation to their very existence. Edward's fingers caressing my lips brought me back to the moment. I looked up into his glowing eyes. He was smiling, something I hadn't expected, not with what we were talking about.

"Something you need to understand, love, is that when you were broken...so was I. It's hard for me to...let go of that time, too. I want to! Of course I do. But I also don't want to deny any...," he paused and I knew he was trying to wiggle around the word 'blame'. "It is in the past. I want it to be in the past. But that doesn't erase my feelings about what I did and what happened. And that goes for you and that goes for Jacob, too. If I've learned anything in all my years it's this: It takes _time_...but time can work miracles. We'll all be alright, Bella. But be patient, love. Be patient with me when I feel upset about what happened. And be patient with yourself, too. As much as I wanted to deny your friendship with him, Jacob was there for you. He did nothing wrong." His clear and heartfelt words had held me spellbound...until that last sentence.

"Nothing wrong? Kissing me when I didn't want to---that was nothing?" Now I was getting upset..and not at Jacob. Edward, on the other hand seemed to like the change in my tone. He laughed and pulled me to him again, kissing my forehead.

"I didn't mean _that_.' He laughed softly while I pouted up at him. "He did nothing wrong in falling for you. I did it myself, you know?" His grin was infectious and I couldn't help responding to it by leaning up and kissing his chin. His arms tightened briefly before he pulled back and looked at me oddly.

"What?"

"Well...I was just wondering. What did you do to him. I mean...when he kissed you, what did you...,"he paused, clearly worrying about how to phrase that. I shrugged.

"I was too stunned to do much. I just...shut down, I guess. He...I know he knows how I feel, now. He took me right home...," I didn't like thinking about how upset he'd been. It was still too soon for that. Edward's laughter startled me.

"What now?"

"I'm sorry, love. I'm just a little surprised. Knowing you, I had thought you might be a bit more..._open _with your reaction."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you have a bit of a temper, love. Don't deny it!" I sat there grumbling at those words. "You _do _and you know it."

"Well...maybe a little bit." Edward laughed openly at this and I tried to elbow him in the ribs, in all probability bruising myself instead.

"In fact, Emmett and Jasper have a bet...," he stopped abruptly and I looked up to see him frowning again.

"What? What were you going to say about Emmett and Jasper? What bet?" I demanded. He looked annoyed but I could tell it wasn't at me. I suddenly had the feeling that he's started to say something that he now wished he could take back.

"It's nothing, Bella. Why don't we go for a ride? Would you like that?"

"Tell me, Edward. Or should I ask Emmett?" Ha! Now I had his attention. He sighed.

"Don't get upset. It's ridiculous, really. They're betting on how many times you...slip up in the first year."

"Oh." I grimaced, trying to hide my sudden horror as I realized what he meant. "They have a bet about how many people I'll kill?"

"Yes," he admitted unwillingly. I looked up at him with stricken eyes as just the thought of that chilled me. His arms tightened around me again. "But you don't need to worry about it now. In fact, you don't have to worry about it ever, if you don't want to."

I groaned. This was all I needed. One more thing to worry about.

All of Jasper's stories about newly created vampires had been percolating in my head since he'd explained his past. Now those stories jumped into sharp focus with the news of this crazy wager. I didn't want to worry...Edward kept telling me not to, but that didn't seem to stop me from wondering what my future as a vampire held.

I knew I would be different. Of course I knew that. I was praying that I would be as strong as Edward said I would be. Strong and fast and, most of all, beautiful. Someone who could stand next to Edward and feel like she belonged there. Edward hated me bringing things like that up, of course. I knew I should be content that he saw me as beautiful...but something in me just couldn't see it. I wanted to be on his level...worthy of him.

But when it came to the other side of changing...I'd been trying not to think too much about that. Jasper's description of wild and bloodthirsty monsters had me cringing. What if I wasn't able to stop myself? What if I actually killed some innocent stranger...someone who's never harmed me and never would have? I knew that was happening right now in Seattle. Happening to people who'd had families and friends and futures. People who'd had _lives_. What if I became the monster who could take all those things away from someone else?

Edward swore that wouldn't happen. He reminded me about Carlisle and Rosalie. I kept trying to keep them in my mind. They did it, so can I. They did it..._so can I_! Right? Come on. If Rosalie could hold back from killing and feeding on the very ones that had killed her...couldn't I have the kind of control needed to stop me from killing some innocent person on the street?

Whatever happened, though, I knew deep down that I could absolutely trust Edward to keep me from doing anything I would regret. I knew he'd take me to Antarctica to hunt penguins if I asked him to. And I knew who I was. I was a good person and I'd do whatever it took to stay a good person...human or inhuman.

The biggest worry I had...one that kept coming back to haunt me, was...would I still be _me_? If I did turn out to be the kind of vampire Jasper had described...how _could _I be?And what about all the things I looked forward to in my life with Edward? The things we had both talked about...our life together? Would I even _care _about those things after I changed? And what would happen to the things I wanted _now_?

Edward was so obsessed with me not missing anything while I as human. Usually it seemed kind of silly. There weren't many human experiences that I worried about missing. As long as I got to be with Edward, what else could I ask for? Thinking about that stupid wager, I wondered...could there be a human experience that I was _not _willing to give up?

* * *

**Since Bella did not hit Jacob in this version, she didn't hurt her hand and there was no reason why they would end up at the Cullen's house. However, I still had the basic issue come up with regards to the bet. I need your opinions. Do you think the bet issue should be repositioned within later chapters or simply not come up at all?**

_**Not every chapter will be or even should be completely written out the way I did here...the next chapter only changes a bit---Chapter 17 changes quite a lot...and so on, and so forth. The Ripple Effect will get more intense the further away we get from this chapter's changing event, though.  
**_


	2. Chapter 16: Epoch Revisited

All characters and original story/text belong to Stephenie Meyer and I'm not her.

* * *

**The previous chapter was the changing event. From this point on we are dealing with the 'Ripple Effects'. As I said before--some of these will be huge--others more subtle. In this case I've chosen to include a mature conversation that I always felt should have happened between Charlie and Bella--perhaps not a complete ripple effect on it's own...but who knows? **

**This story needs to be read with Eclipse (original text) out in front of you the whole time because I am not--yet--rewriting any complete chapters.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 16. Epoch Revisited**_(Ripple Effect begins on page 354 of original text)_

I heard Mr. Greene call out my name and I rose from my chair, waiting for the line in front of me to move. The cheering in the back of the gym grew louder and I looked around to see Charlie standing and waving, hooting in encouragement. I managed to throw him an approximation of a smile.

_**(Page 358--Edward has been told of their suspicion that the New Born army is aimed at Bella and Charlie walks up and has congratulated Bella)**_

"Thanks," I muttered, preoccupied by the expression on Edward's face. He still hadn't gained control. His hands were halfway extended toward me, like he was about to grab me and make a run for it. Only slightly more in control of myself than he was, running didn't seem like such a terrible idea to me. I was thankful that Charlie had his back to Edward--probably in an effort to exclude him, but that was fine at the moment. Edward's mouth was hanging open, his eyes wide with dread.

Okay, so telling him had been a really bad idea. Alice was right to keep her thoughts so clouded. Waiting to tell him when we were alone or maybe with the rest of his family would have been so much better. Especially if there was nothing breakable nearby--like windows...cars...school buildings. His expression was bringing back all my fears and then some. As I watched, though, that fear seemed to harden...it was pure fury that was suddenly plain on his features.

_**(Continue with original text until page 362--Charlie and Bella's conversation)**_

"It's not silly. I feel like I don't always do everything for you that I should."

"That's ridiculous. You do a fantastic job. World's best dad. And...," It wasn't easy to talk about feelings with Charlie especially now that my world had changed so much. And his attitude toward the man I loved...I wanted so much for that to change...for him to be happy for me, more supportive and not constantly trying to push me in a direction my heart would not allow me to go. But he was still my dad, so I persevered after clearing my throat. "And I'm really glad I came to live with you, Dad. It was the best idea I ever had. So don't worry--you're just experiencing post-graduation pessimism." He snorted.

"Maybe. But I'm sure I've slipped up in a few places," he paused and stared ahead for a moment. Clearly this was just as difficult for my normally taciturn father as it was for me. However, his next words came as a true shock.

"You know, Bella...I've been feeling pretty torn recently. It's hard for me...watching you get so close to Edward. I know that you care for him...maybe more than care, but I still can't help but...feel _angry _with him," I started to interrupt but he cut me off. "No, Bells. Let me say this. I don't like to think about all that happened when you were...when he left. But every time I see him...it just gets to me. And I know I should let it go. I've been trying to tell myself that whatever happened...happened. But it's not easy, Bells. It's not easy at all!" He paused again and I honestly didn't know what to say. Knowing Charlie, I had not expected such a straight forward conversation about this. It was definitely not fun...but at the same time, I knew this was something that needed to happen.

"Anyway...I guess what I'm trying to say is that...I'm going to do us all a favor and try not to be so...so bullheaded about the whole thing. You're an adult now, I guess. I suppose I should start making a little effort to treat you like one." He glanced at me with a little quirk of a smile and I felt tears pricking at the backs of my eyes. He may not have _bought _me a present for graduation...but this was the best gift I could have received.

"Thanks, Dad!" I said, my voice shaking as I smiled over at him. He shrugged and shook his head. Clearly we had reached our emotional father-daughter limit and he needed to back it up a bit.

"Well..anyway. If this party gets too wild...," he began.

_**(Continue with original text until the end of the chapter.)

* * *

**_

**Small 'Ripple Effects' here but much larger ones to come in the next chapter... If you guys still like the idea, that is... :-)  
**


	3. Chapter 17: Allianace Revisited

All characters and original story/text belong to Stephenie Meyer and I'm not her.

* * *

_**The following Ripple Effect is huge! Remember...everything that follows is because of that one initial changed event and assumes that the characters are capable of being more sensitive and self-aware.**_

* * *

**Chapter 17. Alliance--Revisited** _(Ripple Effect begins on page 371)_

Who invited the werewolf?" she griped at me. Oh no! Looking down at her apologetically, I raised my hand.

"Guilty." Great...there was so much going on and he chooses _this _moment to butt in. I knew that was unkind but I didn't really think we had time for...for _whatever_ Jacob had in mind. And I definitely wasn't sure I was ready or even willing to deal with much more right now. Alice shook her head in disgust.

"Well, you go take care of it, then. I have to talk to Carlisle."

"No, Alice, wait!" I tried to reach for her arm, but she was gone and my hand was left clutching empty air.

"Damn it!" I grumbled.

So this was it. Alice had definitely seen what she'd been waiting for, and I was left to do what? Answer the door? I was aching to follow her and force someone to tell me what was going on. But the thought of Jacob having actually come to the Cullen's house...what was he thinking? I resolutely squared my shoulders, tried to stop the tension from tearing me apart, and walked towards the door. Someone had already opened it and I could see that Jacob was not alone. He was flanked on either side by Quil and Embry looking incredibly tense, their eyes flickering around the room like they'd just walked into a haunted crypt. Embry's trembling hand still held the door, his body half-turned to run for it.

Jacob was the only one who seemed calm. But that was not the emotion registering on his solemn face. I finally reached them and stood in silence for a moment just looking up at him. Thoughts of what Alice had seen fled as a lump grew in my throat. He looked so upset. I _wanted _him to be upset. _I_ was upset. But...he was still my best friend. Or was he? Did I want that anymore? Did he? Because I knew that I couldn't, I _wouldn't _handle him trying to make anything more out of our relationship. Not now. Not even if it meant that we couldn't even be friends...as much as the mere thought killed me.

The crowd by the door got a little too congested so I glanced around and spotted some room a little ways away by the far wall. Looking back up at him, I half smiled and inclined my head in that direction. Turning, I made my way across the room, and Jacob followed. When I looked back, I saw the guys still standing near the door. They looked ridiculously terrified and for some reason that tickled me, easing some of the tension I was drowning in. I finally found some room and turned to once again face a very different Jacob. His expression was so completely worried. A brief look told me that he hadn't been sleeping well, either. Part of me was glad. I was still angry at him and at myself. It was easier to be mad at him, though. I didn't have the energy necessary to start thinking about my part in the fault department. Not right now.

I waited for him to say something, but he just stood there. Okay...I guess I'll have to start this ball rolling. Fine.

"You came." I stated baldly. He glanced around and shrugged.

"Yeah. Sorry if...well, if you didn't really want me here any more." I shrugged in reply. Neither of us spoke for a moment. I glanced up at him and couldn't help the reproach I felt from creeping into my eyes. When he saw that, he sort of cringed and looked more pitiful than before.

"God, Bella! I don't know what to say. I tried calling but you didn't...you wouldn't answer the phone. I wanted to talk to you...to tell you...,"

"What?" I interrupted. "That you were sorry? I already knew that, Jacob." I spoke more sharply than I'd intended but, _honestly_! What good was an apology if he still insisted that all he had to do was keep pressuring me and I'd just fall into his waiting arms? The very idea that he could even think that had me gritting my teeth.

Jacob shook his head, his eyes managing to look even more upset than before.

"But I am sorry, Bella. I am! God! I don't even know what got into me. I can't believe that I...that I...."

"Kissed me against my will? Believe it!" The hurt I felt at what seemed to me to be a betrayal of everything I felt towards Jacob rose up inside me. "You're supposed to be my best friend! You were supposed to be _happy _that I'm happy! Why can't you be that friend? Why can't you just wish for me to be happy? Haven't I gone through enough without you adding onto everything?" I was ranting and I knew it. Everything just seemed to spill out of me and I knew that my words were practically whipping the overgrown kid in front of me, but I'd been holding it in for so long!

Part of me was whispering that I wasn't being completely fair to Jacob. I had known that he had feelings for me that went beyond mere 'best friend' emotions. And knowing that, I'd still insisted on hanging out with him...an action that was sure to encourage a guy to think that he had a chance, right? But I didn't want to think about that. I wanted him to stop it and stop it for good! I wanted him to know that if he couldn't honestly and completely accept who I was and who I loved...then we were through, no matter what pain that might cause.

Jacob just stood there and took it. He took my glares and my harsh words with his head hung low. And he didn't respond. He just let me say everything that had been held inside and he did so in silence. When I'd finally gotten it all out, I stood there, my eyes filled with tears, breathing heavily.

Finally Jacob broke the silence.

"I can't apologize enough," he said, his voice so low it was hard to hear over the music. I was glad we had moved to this part of the room because we were partially shielded from view by a large ficus tree and I could only imagine what sort of spectacle I had just made. I looked up at Jacob again and I had to admit...he didn't _seem _to be trying to argue or pretend that he was the injured innocent or anything. But that didn't mean that he wasn't still hoping. And it was that _hope _that I wanted gone. I sighed and shook my head, which was starting to pound.

"I'm sorry, too," I surprised myself by admitting. "I shouldn't just go off on you like that. I know that. But...," I broke off. What more could be said?

"Bella. I didn't come here to fight and I didn't come here thinking that everything was going to magically be okay. Not after...well. Anyway. I came to make sure that you knew that I really _am _sorry and that I...I _know _now." I looked up sharply at him.

"You know _what_?"

"I know, Bella. I finally get it. I'm not that big of an idiot!" I raised my eyebrows at that. "Okay, okay. I admit that I've been a _huge _idiot...but I do get it. It may have taken me a lot longer than it should...but I do get it." He smirked down at me, shrugging his shoulders and looking a strange combination of annoyed and apologetic.

"You get _what_, exactly?" I asked carefully after a few seconds of silence.

"You and...and Edward." Wow! Not 'bloodsucker'? This was new.

"What do you mean, Jacob?" I needed specifics. He sighed and looked back toward the door where two very anxious and large guys stood waiting.

"I'm trying to tell you that...I can't stand the thought of losing you as a friend, Bella! I _can't_!" He looked so sad, now. So anxious that under any other circumstances, I would have tried to hug him, comfort him. But not now. Instead, I just stood there and waited to hear what he needed to say.

"After I took you home the other day...I felt sick, Bella. God! I never wanted to hurt you! That's the last thing I wanted. When all that stuff was happening with the guys...when I thought I was losing all of my friends and I didn't have a clue what was going on...you were there for me. And I was there for you and I guess...I guess I honestly thought that maybe...that maybe something more could have happened. I wanted more, Bella. But not...not now." Whoa! What was he saying?

"If I thought I really had a chance with you, Bella, I don't know what I _wouldn't_ do to try to win you. But not if it means that I lose _you_. You're my best friend," his voice cracked unexpectedly, causing the lump in my throat the increase in size dramatically. "Please don't tell me that I ruined that!"

I took a deep breath and tried to steady my own voice. This was unexpected because this boy, this _man _in front of me...seemed to be 'my Jacob'...the one who had gone missing for quite some time. The one I had begun to fear was lost forever.

"Jacob...," I shook my head. I wanted to believe that he really understood, that he was honestly letting go of any misplaced hope he had had that 'we' could ever be. But how could I do that?

"Please, Bella." He paused and pulled something out of his pocket. It was a small bag of loosely-woven, multi-colored fabric. It was tied shut with leather drawstrings. He held it out and I reluctantly let him place it in my hand, frowning at it. What was this?

"Just a peace-offering...an olive branch, from one friend to another. That's all." He looked so anxious that I accept whatever it was that I bit back my suspicions and examined it more closely. It was very pretty.

"Thank you, Jacob. It's...nice." He attempted a smile, not too successfully, though.

"The present is inside, Bella."

"Oh."

_**(Continue original text until the top of page 375)**_

"Do you really like it?" he asked wistfully. I nodded, still not knowing quite what to think. I wanted to believe that he was really putting his wish for a deeper relationship behind him. That he really valued our friendship more than that. But how could I know for sure? What if he was only saying this so that he could hopefully have another shot later on. I couldn't handle that again. I knew I couldn't.

"It's beautiful, Jacob. Really. Thank you." He smiled a bit more happily.

"I'm glad you like it. I know that it doesn't...that it doesn't make up for...well, for _you _know. But I want you to know that...I still am your friend, Bella. I'll do _anything _to earn that back. Whatever you need, or don't need. I just...," he shook his head and spoke again so earnestly. "I want you to know that I _am _happy for you...that I will do whatever it takes to prove that." He looked determinedly in my eyes. "I _mean _that, Bella."

I was about to respond when I saw Carlisle talking with Emmett, his face unusually stern. In a flash the seriousness of the current situation was subsumed by the more pressing issue we were all dealing with. I glanced around the room trying to locate Edward or Alice. Jacob must have sensed that I was no longer focused on him and that something was wrong.

"What is it?" Jacob asked, frowning. I shook my head. I needed to get back to Edward. I needed to know what was going on.

"Is something wrong, Bella?" His eyes filled with a different kind of concern.

"It's nothing," I lied, trying to concentrate. Jacob shook his head.

"Bella? Is something going on? Something I need to know about?"

"No! No, there's nothing...."

"You're not a very good liar, Bella. Just tell me what's going on. We want to know these things," he said, slipping into the plural at the end.

He was probably right. The wolves would be very interested in what was happening. And whatever was going on in Jacob's head as far as I was concerned...he still needed to know the situation. Only I wasn't sure just what that _was _yet. I wouldn't know for sure until I found Alice.

"Jacob, I will tell you. Just let me figure out what's happening, okay? I need to talk to Alice." His eyes lit up with understanding.

"The psychic saw something?"

"Yes. Just when you showed up." Jacob seemed to think about that for a moment before carefully responding.

"Does this have anything to do with that bloods..., that _person _in your room?" he murmured, pitching his voice below the thrum of the music. I was impressed, despite the tension and the doubts I still had...Jacob seemed to be trying. And that was something.

"It's related," I admitted.

Jacob stared down at me for a moment. The more personal anxiousness I had been seeing in his eyes altered slightly. It was definitely still there, but now he also radiated a more businesslike seriousness. I watched as he turned to catch his pack brothers' eyes. When they saw his expression, they started to make there way towards us, weaving their way agilely through the partiers, almost like they were dancing, too. In half a minute, they stood on either side of Jacob, towering over me. Jacob glanced at the two obviously nervous guys before looking seriously down at me.

"Okay, Bella. Tell us what's going on," his words were a demand, but his eyes were still soft, still ever so slightly worried. I wondered how long this new and improved Jacob would last. I glanced at Quil and Embry who were both looking more than a little confused.

"Jacob, I don't know everything." I glanced searchingly around the room again. I knew they needed and deserved an answer but I didn't know what to tell them.

And then I caught sight of Alice descending the stairs, her white skin glowing in the purple light. Finally!

"Alice!" I squeaked in relief.

Her eyes met mine immediately and I watched her face as she took in the three werewolves leaning over me. Her eyes narrowed. But, before that reaction, I had seen the fear and stress shining out of her eyes. What had she seen? I bit my lip nervously as she skipped to my side.

Quil and Embry cringed away from her slightly, uneasy expressions on their faces. However, Jacob managed to hold it together. He looked more stern...but I could tell that, for whatever reason, he was actually trying to remain calm and act more..._normal _around at least this one tiny representative of the Cullen family.

Alice put her arm around my waist.

"I need to talk to you," she murmured in my ear. I looked up at Jacob. He was being so good...patient, even. I sighed.

"Alice...I told Jacob we would tell him what's going on. He deserves to know, doesn't he?" I was only trying to do the right thing but I could tell it annoyed Alice. I glanced up at Jacob again and saw a tiny flicker of hope on his face. Not the hope I dreaded seeing. It seemed more like hope in our friendship. At least that's what I was telling myself. I hoped to God I wasn't wrong to trust this.

Jacob held his peace while the other two pack brothers looked more confused and concerned than ever. Evidently this more calm and rational Jacob was hard for them to understand, too. Alice's arm shifted around my waist and I saw her look oddly up at the leader of the trio before us.

Jacob suddenly looked up and away from us and I turned to see Jasper, frowning, strolling our way through the crowd. Just seeing him not freaking out, taking his time to reach Alice's side...that told me a lot about what was going on inside my large friend. With a sigh of relief, I was able to look back at Alice and encourage her to let us all off the hook. Any more suspense would make my head explode at the juncture. Jasper took up his stance behind Alice and me, radiating the calm I for one really appreciated.

"Alice," I began after a moment of awkward silence. "What did you see?"

_**(Continue with original text until midway down page 379)**_

"Hold it," Jacob interrupted, his voice controlled, serious. "_What _is coming?"

Alice turned and looked up at Jasper, an odd expression on her face. After a second, she looked up at Jacob, her voice much less sharp than usual.

"Our kind," she said, the worry she was feeling dancing across her elven face. "Lots of them."

"Why?" Jacob asked in horror.

"For Bella. That's all we know." Jacob looked down at me, a bewildered expression on his dark face. Then he glanced from Jasper to Alice again.

"There are too many for you to handle?" he asked. Jasper stood a little straighter and looked Jacob in the eye, considering.

"We have a few advantages. It should be an even fight." I watched as Jasper's eyes met and held Jacob's for a long moment. It seemed to me that something changed in the way Jasper felt towards the wolf. What was going on?

"No," Jacob said, interrupting my thoughts. A strange, fierce half-smile spread across his face. "It won't be _even_."

"Excellent!" Alice hissed. I stared in wonder at Alice's new expression. Her face was alive with exultation, all the despair wiped clean from her perfect features. Then, miracle of miracles, she grinned at Jacob...and he grinned back.

"Alice! What's going on?" I asked in complete confusion.

"Everything just disappeared, of course," she told us in a smug voice. "That's inconvenient, but, all things considered, I'll take it."

"We have to coordinate," Jacob said. "It won't be easy for us. Still, this is our job more than yours." Alice grimaced up at him.

"I wouldn't go that far, but we definitely need the help, so we aren't going to be picky."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait," I interrupted them.

_**(Continue with original text until the bottom of page 381)**_

"Wait, Jake! I called after him. "Why, _why _are you doing this?" He paused, turning back to smile ruefully down at me while Quil and Embry headed impatiently for the door.

"Don't worry Bella. This is _why _we are the way we are," he said, gesturing towards his brothers. "This is what we do. What I _need _to do. And there's another thing, too," he paused, a odd smile, boyish and charming on his face. "I want to show you that I can work with your new...friends. I can do this, Bella. We can all do this..._together_." He grinned suddenly and was gone.

It hit me as I watched the door close just what it was that he was saying. He had told me that he would do anything to prove that he wanted to salvage our friendship. I glanced down at the little trinket he had given me and realized in that moment that he had managed to give me a great deal more. He had given me hope that my old best friend would continue to be just that. And that there was just a whisper of a chance that that friendship might just bridge the gap between the wolves and the Cullens.

**_(End of Chapter 17)_**

* * *

_**Okay--that's the enormous ripple effect, as I see it, for chapter 17. What do you think?**_


End file.
